Why Must I Tinker?

  So there are distractions, then there are things of another order, problems you drop everything to take care of no questions asked. It turned out I had to spend an extra week taking care of my mom, which butted right up to my scheduled Portland getaway with my two lifelong BMX buds.  One great thing about going home to Ohio is getting to hang with some of my old friends and bandmates, including one of my favorite humans in the world, Josh, who happens to be a kick-ass musician and owner of... What!?! The bass version of the Harmony guitar I tinkered with in posts past!?! I somehow restrained myself from begging him to sell it to me, then spending twice as much on shipping than it could possibly be worth. With the momma all straightened out and me all stressed out, I flew from Detroit to Portland remarking to the woman beside me during landing, “Wow, it’s not burning at the hands of Marxists like Fox news told me.” And it’s not. There are tent cities in all the large munici...

 What?!? Did you think I'd let a bass carcass go to waste? Remember my sacrificial lamb? Perhaps it can be resurrected! The Bass Gods work in mysterious ways. Quite a few fret pulling videos on Youtube end with a fretless conversion. There must be tens of thousands of poor basses leaning against the back of closet walls, remembering how they once had precision note-making abilities in their youth, much like I sometimes dream of once again having long lustrous locks of hair hanging in my face or trailing behind me as I sprint my BMX towards a jump.  Fretless or not, one thing all the advice had in agreement was that you did not want to leave frets out for long, because the neck would bow in their absence. I don't know how true that is, but with the summer starting and the humidity in more flux than usual, I wasn't going to risk it.  One video mentioned using polystyrene strips often used by model train hobbyists, because they flex less than wood filler or wood strips. I al...

  Yep, that's a naked neck. Let's talk about how I got there, and how it was more than a week ago, and all the distractions. Distraction 1: Fast and Loose BMX jam at Valmont Bike Park. Both a thrill to watch and depressing that I am months away from being a half-century old so I don't even attempt the big boy jumps anymore. Distraction 2: The new Gretsch! I am horrible at regularly practicing the guitar but this one has me motivated. I was happy to put off other projects to change the strings, oil the fretboard, polish the frets and loctite loose threads.     Distraction 3: Pride Month! I had to let my allies know I'm a middle-aged straight white guy with a shaved head who is on their side! Seriously, you genital-obsessed right-wing "religious" nutjobs, leave these folks alone!  Have you ever stopped to think that Christians desire to become angels, and angels don't have genitals? So all Christians hope to transition to non-binary, as I see it.   Dismounti...

 So the Colorado winter gave way to a short burst of sunshine, then a torrent of daily rain unheard of for the region. Like April came and decided to stick around for three months. The streams are too swollen to chase the trout. The trails are too muddy to get out on the bike. Thus: MORE TINKER TIME!!! The newest project:  1985 Peavey Patriot Refret To Regret! This was my first real bass, not the very first that I owned, but the first that I really learned on, gigged on, and knew I would never give up. Even when I bought it well used for $200, it was pretty much ready for a refret. But I just kept hammering away at it, filing away a buzz here and there (who cares when it's mostly punk?) and finally switching to a different bass when I just couldn't adjust it to the wear anymore. The biggest problem? I would have to file the nut slots so deep because of the nubs of fret left that the nut would just split in half under the string pressure. Even Elvis hung his head in shame at th...

 Well, I started out saying that the last thing I needed was another guitar. How wrong I was! Just kidding. I am happy to report, after spending a total of $87.37, I have been offered $100 in trade-in credit.  PROFIT!!! Now, I didn't figure in the cost of things I had laying around. Old pots, the set of strings in a size I no longer prefer, the old pickups. And luckily, tinker hours don't count as work hours, or even at minimum wage I'm pretty sure the total would then be somewhere around the cost of a new Harley Benton.  Tinker hours are precious and priceless. Tinker time is the best anti-depressant during a long, cold winter. Too bad I don't have the patience to deal with Craigslist types, I assume the store will put a $200 price tag on it. Hopefully someone finds it useful. Or someone decides they need another guitar just to keep tuned in open G or something. I'm just glad it has been resurrected.  Let me say this: I did have to do one more thing, a little fret ...

 At the end of each of these posts, I have spontaneously thought up the title for the next post, without giving it much thought. Just typing it hot off the mind-press. Some intuition must have been at play when I ended the Pickguard Hell post, because purgatory is exactly what I got from the pickup situation. I should wrap up the pickguard thing though. It worked! I basically went conservative when cutting out the pickup holes, then slowly and carefully hand filed and sanded them to fit. I was in the other room hitting the drums in celebration when I heard a strange noise. It was Rye plucking the low E with his one good tooth. He's a thorough supervisor. If I ever catch him with his paw hovering over the 12th fret checking intonation, I'm filing a complaint with HR. Speaking of, despite having no way to adjust it, the intonation is pretty spot on. Although it did come out quite a bit better, I should probably apologize to the creator of the pickguard that was on when I bought t...

 Called it! I told you, I told you, I told you. Or maybe I just told myself. Regardless...if you EVER, EVER, EVER need a pickguard for a guitar or bass, buy one pre-made. If you can't find it, take the guitar to a luthier type and pay the big bucks for a custom made. If the guitar isn't worth the cost, just keep it next to your bed to use as a weapon to fight an intruder. I just want to say, I haven't exactly slacked off for no reason. Yes, I knew the pickguard thing would be miserable, I've done it twice before, but I haven't done it when it was 1 degree Fahrenheit outside, and not feeling much warmer in the garage. Then, this: I did my first open mic! It is quite different going solo compared to getting up with a band, even as a former front-person (shout out to Welfare Soldiers!) I want to thank the G-Man for the encouragement. I plan on embarrassing myself again soon.  So, this pickguard thing. You take a piece of plastic, and no matter how you cut it (literally...